What is the greatest sacrifice made by those who serve in the military?

Army Life

Obviously, the greatest sacrifice is  of life for those killed in the line of duty, and permanent scars and loss of limb for those who are wounded. However, the vast majority are not killed or wounded and yet, they too make sacrifices. The greatest among these, in my opinion, is the separation of families during deployments.

There was a humorous adage among us when I served that if you needed a wife, the Army would issue you one. Yes, we laughed, and then many of us went out and got our own. Often, children were a byproduct of our rash decisions, and they were delivered in military hospitals, which brings us to the story I want to tell.

Once upon a time, fathers were relegated to the waiting room, or the sitting room, or to the elements outside, while mothers delivered the children. One of our favorite television dramas, my wife and I, is Call the Midwife. It faithfully depicts life and childbirth in England during the decades following WWII. However, in one respect, I question it's accuracy. The midwives are mostly portrayed by attractive young actresses of modest proportions. Somehow I think that more robust woman may have been needed in that role to carry men from the birthing room or sometimes give them bum’s rush. Fathers, until recent times, were not permitted to attend the birth of their progeny.

In America, sometime in the late 1950s, a movement began to alter this tradition. Fathers began insisting on remaining by their wives during birth. Some handcuffed themselves to their wives to prevent hospital security from physically ejecting them. One might think that it was a training ground for antiwar activists who protested the war in Vietnam in the late 1960s and early 1970s.
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Now we come to the interesting part. My first son was born at Tripler Army Medical Center on the Island of Oahu, Hawaii, in 1970, in the middle of the strife that unsettled the civilian community. However, at Tripler, I was welcomed into the birthing room.

Expectant parents were required to attend a pre-birth class at the hospital during which we were informed that fathers were welcome to stay by their wives during birth. All that was asked was that we attend Lamaze Birthing Classes that were available free-of-charge at the Kaiser Hospital in Honolulu. My wife and I attended and it was the first of four births in which I participated. Five, actually. During the birth of my second child in Fort Collins, Colorado, my wife and another woman decided to commence the final act in the middle of a nurse’s shift change and I was enlisted to help the one doctor and one nurse with both births. The other father passed out.

I was glad for the experience because my second wife delivered both of our children early, after attending only one birthing class, and I had to instruct her at each stage of both deliveries.

How often has the military led the way in great societal changes in America? The military was integrated by President Truman long before integration was implemented in the nation at large. Here we have military hospitals leading the way in allowing fathers to participate in the birth of their children.

Of course, some men may question the wisdom of participating in the birthing process. One day after the birth of my first son, my first sergeant suggested that I stop talking about it. He advised me that I had so upset one of my three shift officers, Lt Tom, that the poor young man was afraid to go near his wife for fear that she might become pregnant. Other men look forward to the comradery of waiting rooms, playing cards, smoking, and drinking with other expectant fathers while their wives wail and moan on the other side of the door.

​Okay guys. It’s time to man up and get in there. Trust me, you’ll be thankful that you did. If, on the other hand, you're deployed when a child is born, please remember that your sacrifice is appreciated, at least by those of us who have suffered similar fates.