In this third posting about the plight of Army Lieutenant Michael Behenna, convicted of murder and serving a twenty-five year sentence in a federal penitentiary, we learn that the government is dragging its feet in filing an answer to an appeal now pending before the Supreme Court. The following is the content of an email received from Lieutenant Behenna's family. It includes a link to a amicus brief filed on behalf of several high ranking officers who contend that the decision in Lieutenant Behenna's case sets a dangerous precedent for all armed forces personnel serving in combat.

THE GOVERNMENT HAS received another extension of time to answer Michael’s Supreme Court petition and now their response is not due until the end of April.  We have seen glimmers of hope in our most recent efforts… such as the Supreme Court requesting the Government to answer Michael’s petition, a rare occasion with a military case; or the 37 Generals and Flag Officers signing an Amicus Brief which lent a great deal of credibility to Michael’s argument that a Soldier should not lose his right to defend himself in a war zone.    

Literally thousands of you have stood by Michael and our family these past four years as we fought our way through the military justice system.  It has been a slow, painful, and frustrating process, but you have continued to provide us with strength and hope through your prayers, letters and emails.  As we near the point where the Supreme Court will make their epic decision as to whether they will hear Michael’s case, your prayers and encouragement for Michael are needed more than ever!!! 

The legal battle has been costly in lost time, treasure, and disappointment, but your support has been endless.  Thank you so much for continuing to help fund Michael’s legal battle. The lawyers have done an excellent job in making their argument to the Supreme Court about why Michael’s case is so meaningful, but there are still other potential briefs to be written before the Supreme Court could find the necessity to overturn Michael’s conviction.

To read the incredible Amicus Brief signed by those 37 Generals and Flag Officers, including a former chief of Naval Operations, a recent commander of NATO forces in Afghanistan, a former NATO Supreme Allied Commander, and five retired four-star generals, click on the following link:   www.caaflog.com/wp-content/uploads/Behenna-Brief-of-Retired-Flag-and-General-Officers-et-al-2.pdf

In the coming days and weeks we will keep you informed about the movement of the Supreme Court case and any new developments.  In the meantime please continue to support Michael’s cause, sign his petition, and push your friends to Michael’s web site at www.defendmichael.com.

To close I wanted to share the last lines from one of Michael’s favorite poems - Tennyson’s Ulysses.

Tho' much is taken, much abides; and though we are not now that strength which in old days moved heaven and earth; that which we are, we are; one equal temper of heroic hearts, made weak by time and fate; but strong in will to strive, to seek, to find, and never to surrender.

With your help we will continue to strive, to seek, to find….and with absolute determination, to never surrender in our quest to gain Michael’s freedom. 

Sincerely,

Scott and Vicki Behenna

www.defendmichael.com

-----------------------------

Links to:
Original posting : Justice Denied
First Update : Request for Parole
Second Update : Parole Denied

HERE I GO AGAIN. Another interview, this time with David Welch, author of Stop The Insanity, on Blog Radio this Monday, March 25, 2013. Looking at America's propensity for reelecting incumbents, David is obviously a fan of Albert Einstein who famously quipped that “Insanity is repeating the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results”. Thus, it is no surprise that David wants to interview me on the subject is books and politics. Books are safe. Politics? Not so much. I feel that I am standing on the edge of the Serbonian Bog.

What's that (I hear you cry)? It was a favorite reference of my professor of contracts in law school. According to Wikipedia: “Serbonian Bog Arabic:مستنقع سربون‎) relates to the lake of Serbonis(Sirbonis or Serbon) in Egypt. Because sand blew onto it, the Serbonian Bog had a deceptive appearance of being solid land, but was a bog. The term is metaphorically applied to any situation in which one is entangled from which extrication is difficult. The Serbonian Bog is identified as Sabkhat al Bardawil, one of the string of "Bitter Lakes" to the east of the Nile's right branch. It was described in ancient times as a quagmire in which armies were fabled to be swallowed up and lost.”

Politics, a quagmire? Yes, that about sums it up.

I used to enjoy discussing politics. I grew up near Washington, D.C., where every child was weaned on the subject. I learned how to read between the lines of editorials almost before I could interpret Dr. Seuss. Now? Not so much. Few people tolerate opposing views as they once did. Political foes are tantamount to archenemies.

Why would I subject myself to this? Simple. I'm a masochist. I have never shied away from any political discussion. That's why I have so many “friends” (he said with a smirk).

Which book will we be discussing? Actually, all of mine touch on politics. (Like I said, a masochist.) During this interview, we'll be discussing Rebels on the Mountain, my tale romance and action/adventure during the time of Castro's Cuban revolution. Inasmuch as revolution, indeed all acts of war, are full contact politics, this interview should be interesting.

Please join us at Blog Talk Radio at 7:00 pm PDT on Monday, March 25, 2013. Look for the Books and Politics show. A recording of the live broadcast will be available at the same website.  

AMAZON INCORRECTLY LISTED Rebels on the Mountain as non-fiction when it was first released at the beginning of 2012. Granted, it's based on historical events and possibly presents them more accurately than self-serving histories of Castro's revolution written by propagandists. It also deals honestly with racial bigotry in America that greatly influenced U.S. Foreign policy towards the island nation. Famous personalities such as Fidel Castro, Che Guevara, Ernest Hemingway, and Fulgencio Batista appear in it, and much of the dialog attributed to them is taken from their own writings. But still it is a work of fiction.

Rebels on the Mountain is an epic tale of a forbidden romance set in the time of Fidel Castro's insurrection to depose the U.S.-backed dictator, Fulgencio Batista. An interracial couple, a Cuban mulata with African roots and an American soldier/spy, seek a safe haven in a world in which their love is not welcome in either of their native lands. Based on historical events, it reveals men and women fighting and loving amid the chaos and uncertainty of revolutionary Cuba. The action and adventure flows from the mountain camp of the Fidelistas at the eastern end of the island to the halls of wealth and power in Havana at the western end. Familiar personalities play their roles in Rebels on the Mountain, including Ernesto Che Guevara and Ernest Hemingway. Lesser known though equally important characters such as Camilo Cienfuegos, arguably Fidel's most important lieutenant, and Herbert Matthews, the reporter from the New York Times who introduced America to the Cuban insurrection, influence the revolution as well as the underlying love story in Rebels on the Mountain.

Most know how the revolution ended, but few understand how a band of three hundred outcasts and outlaws defeated a modern, well-equipped and well-trained army of forty thousand, and elevated Fidel Castro to the heights of power in the Caribbean or how the United States lost control of the island nation. That is the surprise that Rebels on the Mountain delivers.

An open letter to the senior United States Senator from California regarding the exchange between her and the junior Senator from Texas.

Senator Diane Feinstein:

Your exchange with Senator Cruz of Texas over the Constitutionality of proposed gun legislation has forced me to reassess a long held opinion that there are far too many lawyers in Congress. Although voters seem to intuit that lawyers are best equipped to craft legislation, their record in Congress belies that assumption.

Now, as we wrestle with issues of public safety and turn our attention on the weapons that criminals employ, we seem thwarted by the Second Amendment. Understandably, you respond with passion whenever your opponents throw it in your face. However, there it is and you may have to consider more strenuous methods of taking the guns out of the hands of everyone, possibly even revoking the Second Amendment. After all, if it blocks your path, why not cut it down? Do you have the support to repeal the Second Amendment?

I suspect that is the course you must follow because a lawyer served a useful purpose. He showed us that your proposed legislation is unconstitutional. His reasoning rang true, and no amount of bluster and righteous indignation can overcome it. Congress cannot selectively infringe on natural rights, not as regarding speech or the right of self-defense.

Respectfully,

Jack Durish
Rancho Santa Margarita, California

I'LL ADMIT IT. I'm feeling vulnerable. A man came pounding on my front door the other night. It was about 7 pm. As I approached the door, I could hear him shouting at the next door neighbor who was shouting back. Now, my neighbor is given to speaking in a loud voice. It seems natural to him. Maybe he's hard of hearing. I don't know. But, these two were shouting when I looked out the peep hole to see who it was. I didn't recognize him.

I asked who was there and he replied that he was a new neighbor. Okay, what did he want. Before he could respond, he had another shouting exchange with my neighbor. Apparently there was some unfinished business between them. I couldn't immediately discern what they were saying. My hearing in one ear is impaired and my neighbor's accent (African I believe) wasn't helping. 

That brings me to my sense of vulnerability. I have impaired hearing. Its not much of a disability, but I seem to have accumulated a few with age. Age is another source of my sense of vulnerability. I'm not the man at seventy that I was even just a decade ago. Then there's sciatica. That really left me debilitated for several weeks. I'm still getting over it. I'm still carrying a cane, fearful that my left knee will fold with any step, especially if I attempt to change direction without lifting the foot. So, yes, I'm feeling vulnerable. I admit it.

Meanwhile, the stranger at the door finished his shouting match with the neighbor and pounded on my door again. Again I asked what he wanted. He mumbled something. It sounded like mumbling to me. Remember, the hearing loss? I told him it was late. He objected that it was only 7 pm. It was. Even so I refused to open the door for him and he went away, obviously perturbed with me. I haven't seen this “neighbor” since.

I don't like feeling vulnerable. I was a rough and tumble sort of a kid, trained as an infantry officer. I've studied martial arts. I am expert with every sort of weapon placed in my hands: bows and arrows, guns of all types and calibers, I even used a sling effectively to throw snowballs as a kid. I'm not used to feeling vulnerable.

Maybe that's why I'm reacting passionately to the current assault on our Second Amendment rights. Why are they doing this? What is their goal? Make our world safer? Of course not! As any fool can see if they look at the statistics, guns used in crime are down to historically low levels and still dropping. Indeed, those jurisdictions that have the most restrictive laws on gun ownership are suffering the greatest incidence of gun-related crimes. There is no rational excuse for disarming law-abiding citizens. So, we can only assume that the proponents of infringing on our Second Amendment rights have some unnamed, ulterior motive, and it's making me feel even more vulnerable.

I'm not the only one. Women are feeling more vulnerable. So are minorities. Anyone traditionally victimized by bullies, bigots, and criminals is feeling vulnerable and they will be vulnerable if denied their right to defend themselves. Still, the anti-gun proponents wage their unrelenting war on us, the vulnerable ones.

Come to think of it, the anti-gun proponents are clearly demonstrating all the characteristics of bullies and bigots. Furthermore, attempting to infringe on our natural right to defend ourselves, they are making themselves enemies of the Constitution, which should be regarded as criminal activity.

Obviously, the anti-gun proponents are attracting the support of people of good will and good intentions. Just remember, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. They perceive guns as the “devil” and feel justified in cutting down any laws that stand in their way. However, as the character of Sir Thomas Moore proclaims in the play, A Man For All Seasons, “...what is to protect them when the devil turns round about?”

Regardless of what laws they may pass, I shall regard them as unconstitutional and hang onto my guns. Then I won't feel so vulnerable in the presence of tyrants.

I'm not feeling well. I'm still recovering from sciatica and another ailment has struck. I don't fear death. I simply fear that I won't have a complete set of functioning parts when I reach the grave. They'll just toss what's left into a compost bin and I'll return as a stalk of celery. I suppose that's why I'm feeling less hopeful today. Solve society's problems? I doubt it.

First, the issues are complex, very complex. I suspect all simplistic responses. Proposals such as ban guns and bring back school prayer are emotionally driven in response to horrific acts of violence. Unfortunately, although each proposal may have some validity, none receive rational discussion. People generally divide into two camps, pro and con, and shout at each other until they've vented their spleen. They then retire to neutral territory, grumbling about each other, until the next act occurs.

We need to sit down and apply our energy better instead of wasting it on such feuds.

Secondly, we have greatly diminished our resources to respond. Whatever solution we agree upon will probably languish unfunded because our government has been spending our treasury on useless programs whose only outcome is to insure the continued reelection of incumbents. Indeed, things are going to get worse as cities and counties go bankrupt and can no longer provide police and other emergency services to the same degree with enjoy them today. You can bet that acts of violence will proliferate in such conditions.

Ideology has gotten in the way of education. Even if we are motivated to sit down and discuss these issues rationally, and we have the resources to effect the solutions that we craft, we are quickly losing the ability to think and solve problems effectively because educators are more concerned with indoctrinating our children with their brand of ideology rather than teaching them critical thinking skills. Indeed, critical thinking is the enemy of their indoctrination efforts. Go ahead and argue with me on this one. There is plenty of extant research to support my claim.

I could go on, but suspect that I have already upset or lost most readers by this point. That is why I choose to prepare to defend myself and my family, much like the wild west. I fear that we are descending into lawlessness. Just look at the proof of history. Every nation that has followed the course we have now adopted, has entered periods of economic strife. Scapegoats were identified and persecuted. Guns were seized so that minorities couldn't defend themselves and holocausts ensued.

That, I fear, is where we are headed.  Then again, maybe I'll feel better next week, but we still won't be any closer to learning how to think critically, will we?

The latest email from the family and freinds of Lieutenant Michael Behenna brought bad news. Let's hope for a better outcome in his appeal to the Supreme Court.

To the thousands of Michael supporters,

With heavy hearts we must inform you that all our efforts to get clemency for Michael this year were for naught.  The Army Clemency and Parole Board listened to our family’s plea concerning the facts and circumstance’s surrounding Michael’s case and decided four years in prison was not enough.  The Clemency Board did not question us about Michael’s case, character, or whether he was a threat to society, so we are left to wait another year for an opportunity to petition for his freedom.

We truly thought this year would be different; that this year we would finally get our son back where he belongs.  It is hard to convey the grief and despair we feel over this latest setback.  It is only the love and support of all of you and our deep abiding faith in a Higher Power that sustains us through these dark days.  I know all of you are equally disappointed and frustrated by the decision of the Parole Board.  We still remain cautiously optimistic regarding Michael’s Supreme Court petition as we await the government’s response which the Supreme Court requested by February 27th.

Please pursue requests to your Congressmen and Senators to contact Oklahoma Congressman James Lankford to seek a path to a Presidential commutation.   To find your Congressional Delegation click on the following link:  http://www.usa.gov/Contact/Elected.shtml.

Finally, please offer a prayer up for Michael and our family as you watch this Ballad written in his honor:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMbytddDjWI.

With you at our side we will continue this fight until our son is home.

Respectfully,

Scott & Vicki Behenna

Proud parents of 1LT Michael Behenna

http://www.defendmichael.com

PEOPLE HAVE BEEN ASKING about the actors I mentioned in an interview that has been appearing around the blogosphere. Why did I choose them to portray the characters from my novel, Rebels on the Mountain? It's a good question.

Although there isn't any movie deal for Rebels on the Mountain in the works (someday hopefully), I liked the question because I think it helps potential readers get a feel for the characters they will meet when they read the story. 

I don't waste words in the novel describing the characters. Indeed, as a reader, I have been annoyed when authors try to describe theirs overmuch. I have a story to tell and would prefer that readers collaborate by supplying their own images. It is such a partnership between storytellers and their audiences that led Orson Welles to remark that, of all the productions he had participated in – stage, film, and radio drama – radio drama was his favorite.

However, with so many book choices facing readers, maybe using the images of known actors will help them anticipate reading Rebels on the Mountain. Thus, I decided to go even further in this blog posting and explain my choices.

Nick Andrews: A U.S. Army Ranger and Korean War Veteran who has made a career of reconnaissance patrols behind the Iron Curtain – possibly portrayed by Stephen Amell

I became familiar with Stephen Amell in his role as Oliver Queen on the CW TV production of Arrow. Like Oliver Queen, Nick Andrews is an exceptionally skilled warrior who must mask his capacity for mayhem while navigating the camps of his enemies. Amell has mastered this role magnificently in just the first few episodes of the series. Also, like Queen, Andrews is bedeviled by his past. My hero is the child of an abusive father and he is forever courting approval from the men in his life, his surrogate fathers, seeking their approval even if he must voluntarily submit to extraordinary risks if he thinks they expect it of him.

Lucia Comas: An American-educated, island-born mulata, daughter of the second wife of don Carlos Comas, a Cuban sugar plantation owner, and love interest of Nick Andrews – possibly portrayed by Christina Milian

No doubt about it. I was primarily driven by the obvious in selecting Christina Milian for the role of Lucia Comas. She is Cuban and she certainly looks the part. Any good singer has to be able to act to perform a song. She proved this in several films in which she has appeared. Although none of them is a serious action/adventure/romance like Rebels on the Mountain, I think she has the talent to play Lucia Comas if she is properly directed. Also, inasmuch as she appeared in one with Michael Douglas and Matthew McConaughy, she has proven that she can keep up with experienced actors.

Emma Regan: An American socialite whose husband, a retired pediatrician operates a free clinic on the sugar plantation she inherited from her grandfather. Sigourney Weaver is a logical choice.

Emma Regan, who acts as the surrogate mother of Nick Andrews, is a strong woman. She manipulates the men in her life with guile and intelligence. The highest ranking politicians and corporate executives accept her calls, and she can demand any favor. Her only visible flaw is that she is a high functioning alcoholic, which makes her fit company for Ernest Hemingway whose acquaintance she made by virtue of the fact that his first wife was her classmate at Bryn Mawr.

There is no doubt that Sigourney Weaver can portray a strong, well-educated woman. I believe that she would actually enjoy playing the scene wherein she dresses down the American Ambassador to Cuba.

Fidel Castro: The charismatic leader of the revolution that overthrew the Cuban dictator, Fulgencio Batista – possibly portrayed by Jsu Garcia

Fidel Castro the young, fiery revolutionary, is vastly different than the belligerent dictator. Unfortunately, his contemporary persona and image are so well known, that it may get in the way of readers accepting the character as I portray him in Rebels on the Mountain. Indeed, the man I observed on television and in the newspapers in the 1950s transformed almost Jekyll and Hyde-like when he chased Fulgencio Batista from Cuba's Presidential Palace. Most people are not aware that Castro installed another as President and only came to the office through public acclamation after Batista's successor failed to address their grievances. The story of Rebels on the Mountains ends before the transformation takes place. I'll probably return one day to tell that story, too. 

If Jsu Garcia were to play Castro in my story, he wouldn't have to deliver tirades lasting many hours as Castro does. Film audiences wouldn't tolerate it. No, although I extracted most of Castro's dialog from actual quotes, I selected short ones that advanced the story.

Che Guevara: The Argentinian doctor who became one of Castro's most notorious lieutenants and his executioner following Fidel's rise to power – possibly portrayed by Guillermo Diaz

Readers of Rebels on the Mountain who know Che only through his carefully crafted public image are in for a shock. He was a murderous henchman who had no tolerance for people who thought or acted differently. This makes the famous Apple billboard – Think Different – wonderfully ironic. Furthermore, those who idolize Che are in for a rude awakening. Che hated most the very kinds of people who sing his praises the loudest: the rich and famous and homosexuals. Young people probably will be surprised the most. He distrusted the youth, and frequently complained that they were lazy and lacking direction. Guillermo Diaz will need courage to portray him as I envision Che in Rebels on the Mountain. A lot of people are going to be upset. 

Guillermo's portrayal of murderer, Bobby Sabo, on an episode of Law & Order particularly caught my attention. Anyone who attempts to play Che must be able to portray an almost superhuman amount of intensity. I think Guillermo can pull this off.

Ernest Hemingway: Nobel Prize winning author and Havana resident who mingled freely in the halls of power in Havana and purportedly supported Castro's revolution – possibly portrayed by Kevin Spacey.

I had mentioned William Hurt for this role in my interview. However, after watching Kevin Spacey perform in the Netflix series, House of Cards, there is no question that he is the man for the job. Hemingway had a peculiar lust for life that belied an underlying tragedy in the making, one that culminated in his suicide. Such a complex personality is difficult to adopt. Although Hurt is up for the job, Kevin Spacey already has it mastered.

Play casting director and let me know if you have any better ideas. 

PRESIDENTS DAY HAS been a great disappointment to me since its inception. We used to acknowledge Lincoln's Birthday, and celebrate Washington's with a day off. Then someone decided that we should celebrate all of our Presidents. Really? How many of them are worthy of celebration? I don't believe that any of the others equaled the accomplishments of Washington and Lincoln. Few even approached them. Yes, many were popular with some segment of the citizenry, but popularity is a poor test of greatness.

George Washington wasn't just the first President. He defined the office. He could have been king, but refused the offer. As a military officer, Washington understood the value and importance of delegation. Thus, he invented the Cabinet. Go ahead and look in the Constitution. You won't find any mention of Secretaries of Defense, Treasury, Commerce, etc. Washington also established the precedent of limited terms of office. He understood that a perpetual president could easily become a tyrant no matter how well-intentioned that person might be. Thus, he limited himself to two four-year terms even though there is no question that he could have remained in office until he died.

Abraham Lincoln preserved the nation. He surrounded himself with the most capable Cabinet of advisors and administrators ever assembled in the Republic's history, largely chosen from his very own rivals for the presidency. Many of them had little respect for Lincoln when his administration began and assumed that they would govern the nation as a committee while Lincoln served only as a figurehead. He quickly disabused them of that notion. Although it was their considered opinion that the South should be allowed to secede, Lincoln chose otherwise, and he held the nation together through nothing more than the force of his character. There are still some who believe that the two halves would have been better off had they split, but the evidence shows that America became an economic and political powerhouse only because it remained united.

A special day for celebrating Presidents is utterly unnecessary. We are celebrating our Presidents far too much all year long. We focus on them constantly. Their comings and goings are reported with breathless anticipation. They are rock stars, celebrities. Some have, in effect, elevated the President to the stature that Washington refused, a sovereign. Barack Obama epitomizes this danger. He openly threatens to take unilateral action by executive fiat if Congress refuses to enact the legislation that he wants. This is the action of a sovereign, a tyrant.

No, I'm not happy with our government, especially our Presidents. I don't want to celebrate them. I believe its time to put an end to Presidents Day. I'll be happy to celebrate George Washington's and Abraham Lincoln's birthdays. They deserve such adulation. However, I will never be among those who blindly follow an American king. Besides, I would like to have a day off each year again, on my birthday, February 22nd.

MY FIRST SPOUSE was my guide during my first visit to Dante's Inferno. She led me to the Eighth Circle where frauds are punished. That was, after all, the substance of our marriage. However, my latest foray to the infernal regions took me to the Ninth Circle where demons tore and gnashed at my leg. They were named sciatica.

A night in the emergency room and a visit to my physician provided me with a substantial stock of Hydrocodone/Acetaminophen for pain, and advice to find some sort of specialist to figure out what was wrong with me. Unfortunately, none agreed on which medical specialty I should consult to help relieve the underlying problem. My x-rays revealed no deformity or injury.

Therein lies the problem. Sciatica is not a diagnosis of a disease or condition. It merely describes symptoms of lower back and leg pain that are the result from some undetermined cause. In other words, all the doctors provided was a word to describe my pain, but no clue as to its cure. Thanks. Anyone watching me writhe on the floor could see that I was in pain. No word was needed. Actually, I don't believe that any word could describe it.

I might have visited the specialists, one-at-a-time: orthopedist, neurologist, et al. (It was a safe bet that I could skip the Obstetrician-Gynecologist. I'm not pregnant, one of the common causes of sciatica.) However, my daughter insisted that I begin with her chiropractor. Really? I was skeptical.

Like most people, I viewed chiropractic medicine as quackery, but my daughter can be extremely insistent. She had been injured while rowing for a collegiate team and none of the sports medicine specialists had helped. Thus, she swears by the chiropractor who ultimately alleviated her pain. She calls him a witch doctor. I made an appointment to keep peace in the family.

You should go, at least once in your life. A visit to a chiropractor is like a visit to The Magic Castle, a Hollywood institution where dinners are served along with magical shows. In addition to diagnosing the root cause of my sciatica, the chiropractor treated me to several demonstrations of medical legerdemain.

In addition to the pain, my left leg had lost its strength. No, the muscles hadn't withered. They simply weren't receiving the proper electrical cues from the nerves to perform as they were supposed to. The chiropractor had me wear a pair of magical colored glasses that restored strength to the afflicted leg. How? Beats me. I told you, it's magic! He could also weaken my good leg by simply touching a certain spot on my back. There wasn't any therapeutic benefit to that latter demonstration. I'm sure that he was just showing off.

After just three visits with the chiropractor, the pain was relieved and strength was returning. I was able to put the pain medication aside for almost forty-eight hours. Then, one night, the demons returned with reinforcements.

If my wife hadn't been at my side to encourage me, I might have blown my brains out. Even the pain pills were useless. I had an appointment with the chiropractor for the next morning but doubted he could help. I had lost the little faith I had acquired in his arts. My wife insisted that we go anyhow. She agreed to start calling the other specialists if he couldn't help.

The problem was that chiropractors manipulate your body, especially the spine, and my pain encompassed every part of my back and leg. It included many types of pain including touch and pressure. It felt as though my leg was immersed in hot lava, tons of it. Even the ride to his office was excruciating. I became annoyed with my wife's driving convinced that she was swerving and jerking the car on purpose, and diving into every pothole as retribution for my many sins.

When we arrived, the chiropractor went to work and the pain subsided with every adjustment. Within fifteen minutes, it ended. He then began asking questions trying to determine what had occurred to cause the flare up. He knows that I am a writer and speculated that something had happened with my chair.

How did he know that? Yes, my office chair has a pneumatic piston that allows the user to adjust seat height. It began leaking air two days before and sank to its lowest setting as soon as I sat on it (no fat jokes please). Ah, there was the problem. Sitting with the knees elevated above the hips was causing my spine to pinch the sciatic nerves. That's when he gave me the magic wedge (no, not a wedgie). It's a simple foam wedge that I sit on to raise my hips above my knees.

The wedge worked. I sat on it on the ride home and arrived there without any pain. The bucket seats in the car had been the culprit, not my wife's driving. (I know that she'll smile at this part as she proofs this for publication.)

The chiropractor also instructed me to ice my back whenever the pain returns. Whereas the pain pill required about forty-five minutes to take effect, icing the lower back works almost immediately. Also, the pain pill only masks the pain. The cold pack alleviates the swelling that causes the pain.

Now, I'm a believer. My wife and I are annoying everyone we know with this tale. Anyone who suffers pain is lectured on the reasons why they should hie themselves off to the chiropractor.

See me next week, and I'll tell you about bats' wings and eye of newt.