Excuse me. I've got to get ready. I'm going to a party. No, it's not something I enjoy. I'd much rather be with my friends and family, playing with my grandchildren, or maybe sitting at the computer crafting a story. In fact, I'd almost rather be doing anything than going to a party. No, my wife isn't forcing me. She doesn't like parties that much either.

Why am I doing it? I have to. It seems that in my absence, parties have been taking advantage of me. You know that people talk about you when you're not there, don't you? Who do you think will be the butt of the jokes they contrive? Of course, the ones who aren't there.

There are others like me who don't like parties. They're so upset that they had their own party. They called it a Tea Party. I didn't go to them either even though I tend to agree with them. I am seriously lacking a gene for mingling.

However, I finally decided that I just had to go. There are several for me to choose from. Most of them are irrelevant. Two dominate: the Democrats and the Republicans. One is disorganized and the other is full of people who love to party. They seem incapable of doing anything on their own and they want to drag the rest of us along, kicking and screaming if necessary. They know what's best for us and they aren't the least bit bashful about telling us. I didn't see much hope that I could influence that one, so I joined the other.

A commentator on PJTV, Alfonzo Rachel, got me started on this. He challenged his viewers with a question: “How can you take back your nation if you can't take back your party?” You know he's right.

Well, wish me luck.

Do you get it? My teachers didn't. Shakespeare wrote plays. They were meant to be acted upon a stage. Actors are needed to interpret the words in action and emotion. Requiring students to read the dialog without the benefit of a cast to perform them makes about as much sense as attempting to fly with nothing more than a stack of aircraft blueprints.

Author and illustrator Brooke McEldowney may be doing Shakespeare a favor by using the characters of his online comic Pibgorn to act out the play Romeo and Juliet. The visual clues provided by his illustrations make the play much more readable.

I doubt if school teachers would allow their students to read Brooke's version, especially if some of his more lascivious characters find roles in the play. I'm guessing that his fairy, Pibgorn, will play Juliet, but I can't quite decide how he will cast Drusella, the over-sexed succubus. However, they should either allow it or permit the students to act out the play themselves. Wouldn't that be a better way of teaching Shakespeare?

If you're starting a new business, building a brand, trying to sell almost anything, especially a book, wouldn't it help to be famous? Imagine all the free advertising you'd enjoy if the paparazzi followed you everywhere, clicking your photo and writing about your every coming and going.

You can't help but be at least a little offended that the public bestows so much attention on those who have contributed so little, can you? What did the Kardashians ever do to deserve all that attention? Do you know? Did they develop a life-saving vaccine? Did they invent the latest technological gadget that everyone must have? Do they have some great talent? (I'll let you mull that over as you read on. The answer is at the end of this article.)

Imagine what you could do with all that attention. I might actually sell some books. You might own a chain of franchise outlets all over the country and people might flock to them. Your children might bask in the glow of your fame for decades to come.

Then again, you don't have to surrender your life to adoring masses to enjoy the benefits of public adulation. You might, instead, allow one of them, a popular personality, to endorse your product or service. These people have agents who sell endorsements of famous personalities. Yes, you have to spend money to make money, and there are no guarantees that even that will work.

Or, you can struggle on like I have. I've worked long and hard to build my brand to no avail. There's something almost heroic in my ability to persevere in the face of repeated failures. Let me give you an example. I recently posted a brief synopsis of a novel that I've just completed. I included a twenty-seven-word request to read it and answer a simple question: “Would you purchase and read this story?”

I promoted this posting in my weblog in the major social media and there have been almost 400 visitors to it in the first 3 days that it appeared on the Internet. What have been the results? There have been just nine respondents: four yeses, three noes, and one maybe. Yes, that's not bad if you look at the fact that more than half said “yes”. But, the fact that only about two percent of the visitors even bothered to respond to the survey isn't very heartening, is it? Still, two percent was a reasonable response to direct mail campaigns as I remember from my days in the ad biz. Who knows, I may be becoming famous after all.

Would you like my autograph?

ANSWER: Who are the Kardashians and why are they famous? The source of their notoriety probably originates with the fact that Robert Kardashian was one of O. J. Simpson's defense attorneys in his 1995 murder trial. Daughter Kim has parleyed that spark of fame into a family business with the help of her mother and siblings.

Four refugees – a fugitive, a warrior, and a couple thrown by chance into each others arms – share the same path although they seek different destinies. Nick Andrews is the sole survivor of an Army Ranger patrol wiped out when they parachuted onto the heads of the Chinese Communist army as it invaded Korea. He meets Soon-ja, a Korean-born, American-educated doctor who is running away from the same war that Nick is running towards. Henry Hatfield is a deserter who is seeking absolution for his crimes by caring for the few survivors of a massacre of refugees in which he participated. Limbu Wotman is a Gurkha scout who seeks an honorable death to join his comrades who fell during a human wave assault on a British regiment. Set adrift on the ebb and flow of war that sweeps across Korea, they help each other find their fates in a land where behind every mountain, there's another mountain.

I would love to see a film made of the Mandrake Hotel and Resort, but we would have to summon Eric Idle and the other members of Monty Python's Flying Circus from whatever alternate dimension they have escaped to, to make it. It's that kind of story.

Obviously, Monty Python isn't everyone's cup of tea and, logically, neither will the Mandrake Hotel and Resort to violence if necessary by Jared Ora Kintz. They're both very silly. However, if you are the type of person who enjoyed Monty Python, you must get this book. You're in for a treat.

John Cleese should be cast as Rot Kugelschreiber, the hotel's owner. After all, Cleese has experience in the hotel business as proprietor of Fawlty Towers. I would love to see him presiding over a resort featuring “hidden passageways, secret hallways, doors that lead to nowhere, windows to the soul, stairs that wind like windmills, rotating walls, beds disguised as couches, sink handles that open doors, elevators that double as community showers, a dungeon, a torture chamber, and even a screening room that plays an endless loop of the movie Battlefield Earth.” That should give Cleese ample room to spread his birdlike wings and silly walk to his heart's content.

Now before you dismiss all this as too absurd, let me point out that there is an extremely popular restaurant in San Clemente, California, just down the road from where I live, that offers a private dining room in a converted jail cell, an establishment that would fit right into the Mandrake Hotel. Also, a couple of hundred miles to the north, you may visit the Madonna Inn, that also offers theme rooms, everyone different, similar to the Mandrake Hotel. Thus, the author hasn't wandered too far afield from reality, just enough to invoke a sense of wonder.

Allow me to digress to the silliness of the Mandrake Hotel. Americans usually don't do silly very well. The British excel at it in venues such as Monty Python because it's so unexpected. They are simply too stiff and proper to be silly, however, to me, that's what makes them funny.

Fortunately, Kintz has been more restrained in his application of silly than most other Americans. He paints broad outlines of the characters as well as the Hotel and allows the reader to fill in the blanks to their own satisfaction. In fact, he has succeeded as only one other American author has in this genre, Max Shulman whom you may recognize as the author of The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis which became a popular sitcom on American television during from 1959 to 1963. By the way, Shulman's story featured a quirky beatnik named Maynard G. Krebbs, played by Bob Denver who became popular as Gilligan on Gilligan's Island.

Monty Python. Max Shulman. Krintz is playing in the major leagues here. The Mandrake Hotel and Resort to violence only if necessary is a home run of their special brand of humor. 

Born in Salt Lake City on March 5th, 1982, Jarod grew up in Jacksonville, Florida and graduated with an English degree from the University of Florida. He has written many “books” but likes to use the term loosely; describing them as mostly just compilations of his random thoughts and one-liners. (Editor’s Note: Don’t believe a word of it, he’s brilliant!) A master of modesty, he probably won’t mention that (among his many writing achievements) he once sold a line of pithy t-shirts to Urban Outfitters. With characteristic humility, Jarod says, “But my story is just beginning. I plan on failing my way to success. I have been rejected by literary agents, publishers, MFA programs, and all sorts of women. But still I keep writing. Share yourself with the world. If there is one thing I like to impress upon people, it’s that you can do it, even if you can’t. Just keep can’ting until eventually you can. And you can quote me on that.”

For more info and a great selection of his funny quotes, visit Jarod’s website or follow him on Facebook, Goodreads & Twitter.

The family and friends of Michael Behenna have failed to obtain justice for this American soldier who has been incarcerated for a crime committed while serving his country. We have argued that he was treated with injustice, but to no avail. The only recourse remaining is to now fight for his parole. Please take a few moments to contribute your voice to this cause.

You may read the previous episodes of this continuing story at the following linked postings in this blog as well as the website dedicated to Michael.

Original Posting: Who is more deserving of justice than the men & women who fight to defend our freedom?

Update 1: Parole hearing scheduled

Update 2: Parole denied

Update 3: Government dragging its feet in responding to Supreme Court

Update 4: Is justice delayed justice denied in the case of Lt Behenna?

Update 5: Justice plods ahead slowly: Lietenant Behenna's case in conference at the Supreme Court

Update 6: What price justice?

Update 7: Justice denied

To all the thousands of Michael supporters,

Thank you so much for the huge outpouring concerning our request to contact your local VFW chapter about the courageous VFW Resolution to free Michael. We don’t know the final outcome of the Resolution as the VFW National Conference will not vote on resolutions until the end of this week. We will advise you when we hear the result.  We realize that the VFW request may have been more of an appeal to those who had military contacts, but we certainly appreciate all those supporters without military contacts that also cold-called their VFW’s to assist with Michael’s resolution.  

We have one more very important request for all who have followed Michael’s case and want to help him directly. Michael is eligible for parole for the first time in January 2014 and his parole packet must be completed by the end of August 2013. It is our desire to provide the Army Parole Board with hundreds of letters of support as well as letters of employment.  We want to leave no doubt in the Army Parole Board’s mind that Michael is more than an acceptable risk to leave prison; that in fact he is openly welcomed back into American Society by the public at large.

Please take the time to draft and sign a short letter of support (one page only) and/or a letter of employment, and either email or mail them to us for inclusion in Michael’s parole packet (the email and physical mailing address are at the bottom of this email.)  We have included a few bullet points for possible inclusion in your letters, but feel free to write with passion and from your heart. A note of caution…insulting the Board will be counterproductive as the Board did not place Michael in prison, but they hold the keys to his release.

Please address your letters as follows:  To the Parole Division – US Disciplinary Barracks

Letters of Support:  How you know Michael, or how you learned about and followed his case; what you know about Michael’s character and family support, or how you have read that he served the country honorably and has paid a severe price (a price that he will continue to pay throughout his life with a felony conviction); knowing the facts and circumstances surrounding Michael’s background, case, and service, you welcome him back into society and know he will succeed with such overwhelming support.

Letters with Offers of Employment:  Name of Business, Company, LLC, or Partnership; Position and Duties; Salary and/or Commission.  Note that Michael completed a Bachelors of Science from the Univ. of Central Oklahoma; studied history, military science and general studies while in college, and is well read (over 300 books while in prison).  He has also studied a lot about ranching while he has been incarcerated and would especially be interested in anyone who would hire him to work and learn to operate a ranching business.)

This is our first and hopefully our last time advising the Parole Board about the support base that has been encouraging Michael all these years and is patiently waiting for him to walk out of prison a free man.  For all the unbelievable efforts, tears, prayers, cards, and letters you have offered to Michael and our family, sending a letter to the Parole Board is the one way you can directly have your voice heard about what has happened to this brave soldier who was imprisoned for an action taken in a war zone to protect himself and his Brothers-in Arms.  Last week a jury in Florida exonerated George Zimmerman and said that he had the right to stand his ground when confronting an unarmed teenager.  The Army on the other hand declared that Michael lost that same right to defend himself when confronting a member of Al-Qa'ida in Iraq.  Please take this opportunity to let the Army Parole Board hear the thoughts of every day Americans who will not leave this Soldier behind and encourage your family and friends to do the same.

We must bind all the letters of support and employment letters into Michael's parole packet and send it to the Army Parole Board BEFORE September 1st, so please send your letters to us no later than August 23rd (just a month away). 

Bless you for your continued support of our son,

Scott & Vicki Behenna

www.defendmichael.com

Email address:  [email protected]

Mailing address:  1050 E. 2nd Street #169; Edmond, OK  73034

Honestly, we're all finding a lot of poorly written, poorly edited books these days. Typos are the least of their problems. Misplaced modifiers, run on sentences, misused homonyms, and erratic punctuation is just a short list of some others. Most are simply poor stories, poorly told. Sad, isn't it? Sure, the ebooks are cheaper, but it's annoying to waste time plowing through a chapter or two even when they're free.

Traditionally published books aren't much better. These usually have a decent plot and three-dimensional characters, but even those written by popular authors are fraught with errors that jar the reader's attention like speed bumps in a parking lot. They're not just poorly edited, many simply aren't edited at all. Publishers depend upon writers and spell check to deliver clean manuscripts because they laid off editors to cut costs.

Thus, we have to give an edge, a slight edge, to published authors over Indie or self-published authors. That's why I'm proud to say that my first novel, Rebels on the Mountain, was published by Gallivant Press, an imprint of Venture Galleries. Gallivant is the enterprise of two men, Caleb Pirtle and Stephen Woodfin, respected authors themselves. I was honored to be among the first writers that they chose to publish.

Should Amazon provide separate categories for published and Indie-authored books? Well, readers can at least depend upon the fact that published books passed some kind of test. They're at least good enough for someone other than the author to invest in publication and promotion. But, until publishers begin hiring editors again to clean up manuscripts and challenge authors to make them better, that's a scant advantage.

Although you can find two collections of my blog postings on Smashwords, Infantry School and Vietnam – A Soldier's Journals, I'm still not an Indie author. My first novel, Rebels on the Mountain, as well as two earlier books were published. The earlier books were traditionally published. Not only were they printed, but also they were edited because they were published in a time when the book market was thriving and the economy hadn't sunk so low. (You may choose your favorite scapegoat to kick down the road for this problem.)

Ultimately, I wish that my publisher would display their badge on the cover to let readers know they found my story compelling. That might just help me as well as other newly published authors become discovered. Also, you can bet that our publishers wouldn't mind seeing a healthier return on their investments. However, most importantly, it might just help readers make better choices from the myriad of books that are being published every day.

Visit FaceBook for a chance to win a free copy.

Growing old is not for the faint of heart. Don't get me wrong. Living a long life is a blessing. I celebrated my 70th birthday this year. That's not so long, is it? True, but it's longer than the majority of my friends whom I've already seen buried. They were denied the opportunity to enjoy a few more years with their life partners. They won't see their grandchildren grow and thrive as I have.

Do you remember the movie Cocoon? One scene in that film still resonates with me. As the band of old folks prepare to depart with the aliens, one refuses. As his friends attempt to persuade him to accompany them, he remarks, “I don't want to see all of my friends die again.”

But death isn't the only outcome. With old age come the afflictions of aging. Alzheimer's. Arthritis. Blepharitis. Cataracts. Coronary artery disease. Dementia. Emphysema. Hearing loss. High blood pressure. Hip fractures. Macular degeneration. Menopause. Osteoporosis. Parkinson's. Urinary incontinence. Are you dialing the suicide hotline yet?

Even worse, there are the con artists constantly hovering nearby to bilk seniors. Typically, those on fixed incomes see their purchasing power diminish as the general effects of economic inflation and the special effects of health care inflation attack their savings and pensions. They can ill afford scams and cons taking what little is left to them.

Then there are companies who take money for services that seniors don't want or need and refuse to deliver. Let me warn you of one such trap, mail order plans that promise to help alleviate the high cost of prescription medicines. In truth, I'm fortunate that I have been prescribed just five medications taken in daily doses. Many, especially those older than myself, take many more. All of mine are available in generic form that greatly diminish the cost. My spouse takes a couple that cost hundreds of dollars monthly. Thus, we were happy to subscribe to a service that provided these drugs at a significant savings and with the convenience of home delivery at no additional cost, OptumRX.

We were lulled into a false sense of security. First, this service was recommended by the insurance company that provides our Medicare Part E Prescription coverage, United Healthcare Services. Second, the system worked in the beginning. The prescribed medications arrived at our home on time and we could see a small savings. Unfortunately, we authorized OptumRX to debit our checking account.

You're cringing already, aren't you? You should be. The convenience of electronic funds transfers is a modern miracle. I well remember my class on negotiable instruments in law school when the professor spoke of the fact that one day we might pay for goods and services without checks or cash. That promise wouldn't arrive for at least another thirty years, and when it arrived we were surprised, though we shouldn't have been, to discover the opportunities for fraud and abuse that the system would provide.

It doesn't take dishonesty to bilk someone out of their money. In the case of OptumRX, I'm willing to allow that they made an honest mistake. They even admitted the mistake. However, once the mistake is recognized, it should be rectified. Delaying repayment should be considered criminal, especially when dealing with those least able to afford the loss. In this case, they promised repayment within seventy-two hours and now, two weeks later, we're still waiting even though we've called repeatedly and they keep promising.

Thinking back on all the on-line purchases we've made over the past couple of years, we've been very lucky. We've never before encountered such a problem with Amazon or other vendors that we've used. However, in the future, I will never again authorize direct payment from our bank accounts. I will use MasterCard exclusively. Thus, we'll have recourse to correcting errors without having funds taken.

This cautionary tale most likely appears remote from the heights of that hill that I passed over so long ago. If you pay attention to my warning at all, you may choose to retire rich. Surely that will save you the problems to which I refer. Good luck with that dream, especially with this economy. Better that you prepare yourself with knowledge of the future that awaits you.

Paula Deen and racists like her have been hurting all Americans for many decades. They perpetuate stereotypes that denigrate our nation and prevent our people from living in peace and harmony. The words she spoke will linger for decades to come, continuing to harm not only you and I, but also the generations that follow us. No apology can unring that bell. It will reverberate in speeches by those who profit from strife.

I am particularly offended by Ms Deen's behavior because it exposes the scars that I bear of having been raised by a racist. My father was indiscriminate in his discrimination. He hated everyone who was different. I don't believe that I heard words like “African-American” (“black” was in vogue when I was a boy), “Asian”, “Italian”, “Pole”, “Chinese”, “Japanese”, etc. All people who were different were identified by racial epithets in our household. All people except Germans. He adored all things Germanic. He self-identified as German even though all his predecessors were Slovak. He was obviously ashamed of being Slovak. 

Unfortunately, some vestige of my father's bigotry persists in my family and I find it difficult to be around them. Even though they have been warned that I will not tolerate hate speech, let alone hateful acts in my presence, there are slips that lead to uncomfortable confrontations.

Thus, it is no surprise that my first novel dealt with racism. Racism rears its ugly head in the main plot line and we learn that it has been the guiding force in U.S. Foreign relations in the Caribbean and Latin America. Apparently, Americans of European descent have little more regard for Iberians than they have for Africans. A subplot in my novel is also an outgrowth of racism wherein my protagonists pursue romance and marriage even though faced with antimisogyny laws that forbid their union.

Now, Ms Deen is sorry, very sorry indeed. She has been fired by FoodNetwork TV. More than the loss of income, she will suffer from the loss of public exposure that has driven her successful enterprises in selling books and kitchenware. Such retribution will escape the attention of those who argue that racism continues to thrive in America. They will continue to fan the fires of racial division and unrest, and all America and our progeny will continue to suffer.

Will bigotry ever be put to rest? Unfortunately, no. It thrives in the dung heap of ignorance. Although we may stifle its influence in our law and our public institutions, we will never completely eradicate it from society. That is why it is not enough to simply refrain from its practice. It is not enough to shun bigots. All people of good will must speak out against bigotry and discrimination and act decisively to stop it.