JACK'S BLOG
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VietnamHAVE I MENTIONED just how dumb I really am? Seriously. Many soldiers received a Dear John from their girlfriends who were supposed to be waiting for them back home. Few were dumb enough to later marry them. I did. Some of you may be forgiving, thinking no, that's not dumb, it's true love. Well, if you do, you're as dumb as I. How can a person who can't even maintain a relationship beyond the adversity of being separated a few weeks or a month or even a year, be expected to maintain it through a lifetime of shared trials of marriage, parenthood, and living in close proximity to the quirks and idiosyncrasies of another human being? No, it is better to accept the Dear John as a gift signifying an honest confession of a loved one's lack of commitment before you are legally bound to them.
Most were surprised by my reaction to receiving a Dear John. Simply, I didn't react. Not really. They should have recognized the simple fact that I was in denial. Had I truly accepted the break-up, and ranted and raved a little, I would have been better off. Instead, I blithely slipped back into the relationship as though nothing had happened. What my buddies in Vietnam didn't realize was that this was the second Dear John I had received. The first arrived while I was in Officer Candidate School. There, now do you believe me? Other heads were wiser than me. One posted his Dear John on the company bulletin board. Many burned them. Almost all cursed their feckless loves. Alas, as my mother often said, “Love sticks where it lands, even if it's in a pile of sh*t.” (Actually, she was a very proper lady who simply had a quaint way of expressing herself at times.) Fortunately, by divorcing me, she did me the biggest favor of my life. She gave me permission to find the real love of my life, the one I have been married to these past thirty-four years on this June 26th.
4 Comments
7/31/2012 12:21:12 am
We only hear what we want to hear and think we can change the inevitable in chapter eight. We never can. We, like you did, only wind up re-writing chapter eight. Congratulations on 34 years with the love of your life.
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7/31/2012 01:28:27 am
It seemed to me that the ones who received the Dear John letters were the ones that were the most loyal to their love interest! I think I used to get more pissed than the guys getting the Dear John letters. But then, I've been the writer of those sorts of letters...it's not easy. Still and all, there is a time and a place and when one of the duo has their life on the line...that is NOT the time! Glad it worked out for you in the end. I had to learn the hard way too...and yes, it worked out for me too! Thanks be to God. Blessings to you and your love!!
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7/31/2012 08:32:32 am
Ah well, maybe holding on to something like the illusion of her commitment to you helped to bring you home safely. Or maybe you are just a dork. ;p
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7/31/2012 09:40:56 am
Yes, I'm a dork. I even got the year wrong. This was our 35th wedding anniversary. Sheesh. And, yes, there will be many more mentions of my mother. She had a wonderful sense of humor.
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